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Therefore, confess your sins to one another...

by Andrew Dionne on June 1, 2012 - 6:00am

Many object to the practice of confessing sins to one another, believing they need only confess their sins to God. Those who hold such a belief reason other brothers and sisters are not to be trusted with such confessions and, in the end, lack the power to do any good in the situation. Certainly all sins should be confessed to God. No one denies that. But categorical refusal to confess our sins before one another is a rejection of the gracious goads God uses to bring us to repentance and our brothers' effectual prayers. Only an unbeliever wouldn’t want those helps...

There are sins of such a serious character they should be confessed only in formal circumstances--before an elder board and/or the police. Yet, those sins with which we have made peace or we like to attribute to our personalities (outbursts of anger, grumbling, bitterness, anxiety, greed, lust, discontentment) should be confessed before brothers or sisters (not in mixed company) in more regular and casual settings. True humility and a godly desire for growth in holiness demand such confession from us. It is hard to do this, especially as our pride and love of sin prefer the cover of darkness, anonymity, and silence.

While preparing a sermon on James 5:16-18--a text reminding us of the power of our brothers' prayers in helping us overcome confessed sins--I found the following quotes in Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s Life Together. I hope they spur us on to greater faithfulness in confession of our sins.

To whom should we make a confession? According to Jesus’ promise every Christian believer can hear the confession of another [John 20:23]. But will the other understand us? Might not another believer be so far beyond us in the Christian life that she or he would only turn away from us without understanding our personal sins? Whoever lives beneath the cross of Jesus, and as discerned in the cross of Jesus the utter ungodliness of all people and of their own hearts, will find there is no sin that can ever be unfamiliar. Whoever has once been appalled by the horror of their own sin, which nailed Jesus to the cross, will no longer be appalled by even the most serious sin of another Christian; rather they know the human heart from the cross of Jesus. Such persons know how totally lost is the human heart in sin and weakness, how it goes astray in the ways of sin – and know too that this same heart is accepted in grace and mercy. Only another Christian who is under the cross can hear my confession. It is not experience with life but experience of the cross that makes one suited to hear confession. The most experienced judge of character knows infinitely less of the human heart than the simplest Christian who lives beneath the cross of Jesus. The greatest psychological insight, ability, and experience cannot comprehend this one thing: what sin is. Psychological wisdom knows what need and weakness and failure are, but it does not know the ugliness of the human being. And so it also does not know that human beings are ruined only by their sin and are healed only by forgiveness. The Christian alone knows this. In the presence of a psychologist I can only be sick; in the presence of another Christian I can be a sinner. The psychologist must first search my heart, and yet can never probe its innermost recesses. Another Christian recognizes just this: here comes a sinner like myself, a godless person who wants to confess and longs for God’s forgiveness. The psychologist views me as if there were no God. Another believer views me as I am before the judging and merciful God in the cross of Jesus Christ. When we are so pitiful and incapable of hearing the confession of one another, it is not due to a lack of psychological knowledge, but a lack of love for the crucified Jesus Christ.

The root of all sin is pride… I want to be my own law, I have a right to my self, my hatred and my desires, my life and my death. The mind and flesh of man are set on fire by pride; for it is precisely in his wickedness that man wants to be as God … In the confession of concrete sins the old man dies a painful, shameful death before the eyes of a brother. Because this humiliation is so hard we continually scheme to evade confessing to a brother. Our eyes are so blinded that they no longer see the promise and the glory in such abasement.

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Comments

Submitted by Sue McKeown on June 4, 2012 - 7:35pm

You've raised some excellent points here about confession. Would you be willing to answer some questions about this would work?

1. Would this confession include everyone in the group confessing their sins to each other, or would just one person confess their sins in each group meeting?

2. Would you encourage members of your church hold group confessions of this type regularly or just when the need exists?

3. How would you select people to be part of a group confession session for want of a better term? 

As a former Lutheran and current Anglican, what you have suggested here is new to me and I'm just curious how it work. Any confession we have done is in private with a pastor (Lutheran) or priest (Anglican). Confession, or The Reconciliation of a Penitent is emphasized more in the Anglican Church, but only encouraged about once/year.

I would also like to make one comment on Bonhoeffer's about the dichotomy between Christianity and psychology. What he said was probably true when he wrote his book, but today there are a considerable number of clinical psychologists and other mental health therapists who are more than to happy add God/Christ into a patient's sessions as soon as the patient requests it. There are others that say up front that everyone in our practice works from a Christian perspective. I know of a number that operate under each of these perspectives, including 4 in my own parish, one of whom is a priest and a licensed counselor and says that God has called him to be a Christian counselor.

Submitted by A Dionne on June 5, 2012 - 9:06am

Dear Sue,

Thanks for your good questions. Here are answers based upon my experience over the years...

1. Generally everyone is encouraged to confess their sins each meeting, though there should be freedom to "pass" on occasion. What often happens as you hear the confessions of others is you realize that you too sinned in similar ways and were blind to those sins. Sometimes these times are used to report on your fight against previously confessed sins--praising God for victory in the fight or requesting further prayer from your brothers or sisters.

2. I believe it is best to have ongoing and regular accountability. Currently, we have home fellowship groups twice a month. These evenings begin with meals, move to bible study, and finish with the men and the women separating for the purpose of prayer and confession. With time, the trust and intimacy of the group grows and honest confess and true accountability come.

One of the reasons to push for this sort of confession is to get beyond solely praying for people's physical ailments. We're to love one another, and to love one another means to know one another. It's sad that we know more about people's livers and blood counts than about their "hearts" and souls. Not that we shouldn't pray for people's livers, but all that a liver can do is kill you, it can't condemn you to hell as sin can.

3. Honestly, the composition of the group is often initially left to the providence of God. Over the course of time and with a knowledge of the particular members of the group and the strengths of the specific leader, pastors and elders should point people toward a group where they will receive the accountability and prayers they need. The elders of the church could have pastoral knowledge that would lead them to recommend certain couples or individuals not attend the same groups.

Having said that, though, if you are living Bonhoeffer's words as a church, this godly humility and desire for a clear conscience will spread everywhere in the church--in the pulpit, in the liturgy, in the Sunday school classes, in the small groups, in the approach to the Lord's Table, in the elder board and staff meetings,...so, in a sense there would be no escaping it.

A lot more could be said and perhaps others will chime in...

Blessings,

Andrew

Submitted by Nathanael on July 29, 2012 - 6:50am

I have recently been giving this a lot of thought.  I have identified so many areas in my own life that I try to hide behind some allusion... In thought, I have found NO absolute good in keeping ANYTHING in the dark.  It may be uncomfortable and painful, but allowing Christ to be our identity and not our self-conjured images, seems like the best way to go. I have been in so many situations where confessions were made but under a confidentiality that I think is ultimately useless.  We are ALL damned to Hell without Christ, and we are ALL not perfect here on earth, but we spend so much time pretending we are...all the while smirking and excusing ourselves with the line "of course we aren't perfect"

Submitted by sam on September 3, 2012 - 1:26pm

i have committed many sins most of which i have repented for sometimes with a sincere heart sometimes without and i make promises to god saying i'l never do it again but i always end up doing it again watching Movies with Sex in it and wanting to do it myself :( and every time i feel less close to god and i keep wanting him to come back in me and after i ask God to come back. Satin plagues my mind with my past sin and wanting to do it again and every time i think of the sin it makes my stomach hurt as well my heart and i usually fall back into my sin. :(

and this is just 1 of thousands of sins

Submitted by sam on September 3, 2012 - 1:29pm

so please pray for me not to have sin in my heart or want to do the same sin over again and break yet another promise to god

Submitted by David Bayly on September 3, 2012 - 4:47pm

Dear Sam,

Thank you for writing. May I urge you not to make promises to God, but to act? Combine steps of obedience with prayers of repentance. Throw out the television set. Give up the magazines. Put down the tablet or laptop that lead to sin. And in their place, take up acts of obedience and faith.

Go to a local nursing home and visit. Take your Bible and read it to the residents. Speak of faith to those whose families never visit them (you can ask the staff at most homes and they will be glad to tell you which residents receive no visitors).

Ask what you can do to help with cleaning work at your church. Visit elderly couples in your church. Volunteer to help in Awana, or something similar.

These steps may sound simplistic, but obedience and victory are simple: act the way God commands us to and He provides power and discipline. Remember His promise that He has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and discipline and a sound mind. Act on that promise and I assure you, you will find it true. 

I have prayed for you, and hope to do so again in the future.

Love in Christ,

David

Submitted by Samuel on September 7, 2012 - 11:40pm

Thanks for the advice I believe it will help me not have sin in my heart in the future :) although not that many retirement homes around here but I'll do my best thanks again and i have began telling others in anyway i can about Jesus in small ways

Submitted by Anonymous on January 11, 2013 - 6:42pm

Thank you for sharing this!

Last evening, a fellow Christian was asked to read a prepared statement before our small group of believers (a mixed group). The nature of the confession seemed inappropriate for a mixed group. Particularly to an immature believer of the opposite gender, the confession could actually be a stumbling block! Please, Christian leaders, use restraint and wisdom in these matters!

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