"Spiritual friendship" demythologized...

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There's a movement insinuating itself into the church and selling a sweet spot to stand halfway between the worldlings' love of all things gay and God's condemnation of the abomination. Led by men and women intent on clearing a path for the mainstreaming of their gay identity among the people of God, when they talk to one another the movement's architects refer to themselves as "Side B." According to their jargon, "Side A" designates gays who consummate their relationships while "Side B" designates gays who don't.

Talking with church people, though, their language gets more nuanced. They call themselves "gay," but they add the qualifier "celibate"—as in "celibate gays." The celibacy they speak of, though, is perversely truncated. Christian terms normally associated with celibacy such as 'chastity', 'purity', 'modesty', or 'virtue' become meaningless when "celibate" is simply a modifier of "gay."

Side B gays also show their sensitivity to normal church-going Christians by not speaking of their Side B relationships as "monogamous covenantal unions" or "gay marriage." Rather their new phrase is "spiritual friendship." Presented well (and gay's are pretty good at presentation), the term takes on a sort of medieval monastic or Pauline buzz that allows naive Christians to let down their guard.

The essential thing noted by Biblical Christians, though, is that these proponents of "spiritual friendship" are united in their repudiation of the sex God made them. So chatting Christians up on the subject of "spiritual friendship" doesn't quite cut it because, whether or not these "spiritual friendships" are consummated, they're nothing like the friendships found...

in the Word of God and church history. Take, for instance, David and Jonathan. Ruth and Naomi. Calvin and Farel.

It clarifies things to trade in this group's preferred term "gay" for the historic designation "sodomite" which has been used to designate those repudiating the sex God made them for 2,000 years, now. While "celibate gay" puts us to sleep, "celibate sodomite" wakes us right up. This is why this group trying to mainstream the sodomite perversion within the church always employs the euphemism "gay." It's a kinder, gentler name for sodomy that allows us to cuddle up to sodomites without having to suffer visions of fire and brimstone.

While they always identify themselves as "gays" who are committed to not consummating their couplings, these self-described "celibate gay" homosexualists have little heart for opposing gay copulation. Avoiding physical intimacy is more their own personal spiritual commitment than their call to repentance of the rest of their "gay" community.

When Wheaton College's gay advocate employed in the Chaplain's Office, Julie Rodgers, repudiated celibacy, recently, the well-known Side B homosexualist site, "Spiritual Friendship," issued a statement linking to this piece that ran on their site some time ago. They put the piece out there to establish their credentials as opposing the act of sodomy. Readers of that piece will note that their opposition is, at best, tepid.

Another piece they linked to ends:

We should not be afraid to admit that the Bible’s very brief treatment of questions related to homosexuality does not say enough to answer the questions raised by our culture. But we should be confident that if we reflect more deeply on deeper themes connected with the Gospel—creation, providence, marriage, celibacy, sin, redemption, resurrection, etc.—we will find the resources for understanding Paul’s teaching on homosexuality, even though Paul himself does much less than many of us would like to explain the reasons behind the prohibition.

Preachers with this kind of zeal for the holiness of God and the salvation of sinners obviate any need for false shepherds.

When gays who have promoted Side B's "spiritual friendship" change their tune and begin arguing for gay sex, their fellow "celibate gays" get angry, but no person with Christian discernment is surprised. From the first their posturing was a charade. How does one celebrate one's sexually perverse gayness everywhere among everyone, living in a covenantal union with one's gay "spiritual friend" and sharing the parenthood of a child of sodomy living with you both, promising those watching that you always stop your gay friendship just short of copulation? Is this the lifestyle of, say, fornicators within the church? Do they identify themselves as "celibate fornicators" and live in a covenantal union with their fornicator "spiritual friend," sharing the parenthood of a child of fornication who lives with them, promising those watching that they always stop their fornication friendship just short of consummation? Is this the lifestyle of, say, adulterers within the church? Do they identify themselves as "celibate adulterers" and live in a covenantal union with their adulterous "spiritual friend," sharing the parenthood of a child of adultery who lives with them, promising those watching that they always stop their adulterous friendship just short of consummation?

Such constructions are ludicrous. Yet here we are discussing the so-called "spiritual friendships" of so-called "celibate gays" with a straight face as if this is what the Apostle Paul was commending when he wrote that he wished all men were as he was.1

To repeat the warning we have given many times before, in Christ there is no such person as a "celibate gay." There is the celibate and chaste single man. There is the celibate and chaste single woman. There is no celibate and chaste gay man or gay woman. The man who identifies himself as "gay" is living in rebellion against the sex God made him. By his chosen identity announced to the church and the world, he repudiates the confession of his sex, his manhood, and thereby opposes the order of Creation into which God placed him at the moment of conception with the command to live his manhood in obedience to His Heavenly Father.

To be sure, living our creation order is hard. For all of us. But some of us do not have the right to throw in the towel on that order because we're same-sex-attracted any more than others of us have the right to throw in the towel on that order because we're a wimp who can't say "no" to our wife. Confessing our manhood or womanhood faithfully, according to God's Order of Creation, is hard for every last one of us and has been from the first second we became aware of our manhood or womanhood. This is the reason Scripture never stops commanding us to confess our sexuality as God created us. Single or married, male or female, we are to conduct ourselves Biblically as the men or women God made us, and this in the face of the world's hatred of God's Order, but also the weakness, sinfulness, and lust we feel rising up within us against that Order.

There are no "gay" Christians. Of such were some of us, but we have been bought by our Lord's precious Blood and now have freedom in Christ. Why would we want to return to the terrible bondage of sodomy which is the very opposite of "gay?" 

Celibacy is beside the point. What matters is that little word 'gay'. Those who say they are "gay" have not yet come to Christ. Those who say they were "gay" should not, cannot, may not, shall not return to their vomit.

For if, after they have escaped the defilements of the world by the knowledge of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and are overcome, the last state has become worse for them than the first. For it would be better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than having known it, to turn away from the holy commandment handed on to them. It has happened to them according to the true proverb, “A DOG RETURNS TO ITS OWN VOMIT,” and, “A sow, after washing, returns to wallowing in the mire.”  - 2Peter 2:20-22

  • 1. 1Corinthians 7:7-9.
Tim Bayly

Tim serves Clearnote Church, Bloomington, Indiana. He and Mary Lee have five children and big lots of grandchildren.

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