Fathers who withhold spankings exasperate their children...

Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart. - Colossians 3:21

But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. - Hebrews 12:8

Here's a good post reminding fathers and mothers that God our Heavenly Father will hold us accountable for our obedience to His many commands that we spank our children:

You shall strike him with the rod and rescue his soul from Sheol. - Proverbs 23:14

Tim Bayly

Tim serves Clearnote Church, Bloomington, Indiana. He and Mary Lee have five children and fifteen grandchildren.


Never hit my kids and they don't seem the least bit exasperated. Instead, they are happy, smart, outgoing and successful.

Dear Mary,

I was speaking to fathers, not mothers. God's Word tells us the son who is not disciplined by his father is not loved by his father; he's an illegitimate son and is not loved. There's nothing more exasperating to a son than not having his father's love—everyone knows that. And again, discipline is proof of the father's love.

Further, God's Word commands us to spank our children. So, if you were a father and said what you've written above, I would rebuke you for your shameless rebellion against God, parading your disobedience of His many commands to spank our children and seducing his people by claiming your rebellion against him has produced good fruit.

Dear woman, every time you write on this blog, you demonstrate that you are in bondage to the Spirit of our Age and know nothing of God. Repent and believe in His Son, Jesus Christ, for the forgiveness of your sin—particularly your rebellion against His Word so constantly visible here.

Scripture tells us there is a way that seems right to a man, but the end thereof is death. This is the path you are pleased to announce to the world, but the end is death. Run!


PS: You morphed my word "spank" into your word "hit." There are absolutely no similarities between hitting a child and spanking a child. The wife who hits her husband does so as a spontaneous response of her uncontrolled anger and it is sin.

Spanking is discipline. Hitting is abuse. You did know I was speaking of discipline so your use of "hit" was deceptive.

they are happy, smart, outgoing and successful.

Are they born-again, with the fruit of repentance from sin and living in glad obedience to God's word?

A lack of discipline does not help produce this fruit in a child.

My husband didn't spank either. Kids are fine, great, actually.

I think you are splitting hairs about "spanking" and "hitting" because you like  the word "spank" better, it sounds more acceptable. And I do not believe "spank" appears in Scripture, anyway.

Jesus said,

"Everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not act on them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and it fell--and great was its fall." - Matthew 7:26-27

Ms. Karin builds on the sand and boasts that everything is fine. But what will she do on that Day, when the torrent comes? What will her hiding place be?

Why does it trouble you that my kids are fine? 

Dear Mary,

There are no hairs being split on the difference between "hit" and "spank." There's a world of difference. Hitting is motivated by anger, and is a sin to be repented of immediately. Spanking, however is motivated by love and concern for the child's soul. I wish you had experienced godly spankings as a child, or at least seen it as an adult. I can imagine that it's hard to conceive of corporal punishment being sweet and loving if you've never seen it before, but it really is! God's design in allowing a few calmly administered swats to turn a rebellious child into a soft, sweet, content, obedient child never ceases to amaze me. Some of my sweetest times with my daughters are immediately after a spanking, because before they were rebelling and afterwords our relationship has been restored.

It makes me sad that you have never known this sweetness.


You're right, the Bible doesn't use the word "spank." But it uses phrases and sentences like "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him"; and speaking of God, "every son He accepts He also scourges;" and Proverbs 23:14 (which Pastor Bayly cited above) "You shall strike him [your child] with the rod and rescue his soul from Sheol;" these, among many others. Regardless of the word "spank" being present or not, the spirit and intent of Scripture are quite clear; in fact, inescapably so.

Thank you, Kara. Love,

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