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The problem with mittens...

by David and Tim Bayly on December 24, 2010 - 5:44am

(Tim) The internet is used for so many bad things. Let's move it in a more positive direction.

One of my grandsons was getting bundled up for play in the snow, yesterday, and he lamented to his mother, "Mom, it's hard to pick your nose when you have mittens on." This started a discussion among Bayly family members wanting to help the poor boy, but we haven't come up with much. One said, "Teach him the farmer method" and another suggested, "He should practice with his thumb."

So we'd like your input. There will be kids all over the world playing in the snow wearing mittens this Christmas season, so lend a hand and tell us how you've approached this problem with your children or grandchildren?

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Throw the radio in the bathtub

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Comments

Submitted by Kamilla on December 24, 2010 - 5:58am

Tim,

You really should post a warning on this -- I almost ended up with eggs and ham all over the little netbook . . .

Kamilla

Submitted by Alex Costa on December 24, 2010 - 6:59am

To this day I have a hard time with mittens when it comes to picking my nose. The problem is not limited to mittens though. It also comes with wearing gloves because of the fact that the circumference of your finger widens to the point where it is no longer able to fit within your nostril.

In my prideful opinion, you could go one of two ways. You can teach your grandchild a lesson in toughness and have him not wear gloves so that his nose picking efforts can continue. Or you could remind him that when it is cold, mucus will flow freely from his nose and if it hardens it will mostly be due to freezing.

Aha! This is were the gloves come in handy! Insteady of having to wipe his mucus on his hands he now has this convenient cloth destination for the fluids from his nostrils.

Submitted by Andy Halsey on December 24, 2010 - 8:30am

I don't know of a great solution to the problem but I do feel someone needs to mention the traditional ethical boundaries here--whatever the weather, we need to do the right thing, people. So remember:

You can pick your friends;
and you can pick your nose.
But you can't pick your friend's nose.

Submitted by Fr. Bill on December 24, 2010 - 8:45am

Another tack than Alex's to take, if the weather is truly frigid ...

First, show the young man a picture (if you can find one; Ma Google will help, I'm sure) of a Yeti with its face encrusted with chunks of ice.

Next, explain to him that he, too, can look like a Yeti if he just lets things flow and freeze. What little boy would NOT want to evolve over the period of a freezing romp in the snow into the fearsome likeness of the Terrible Yeti?

Lastly, coach all the women-folk that when the little boy comes into the house, transformed into a Terrible Yeti, they must shriek convincingly as they stampede into the bathroom to gather up clouds of wadded up toilet paper. If the young fellow has been successful, the women won't have to try very hard to shriek convincingly.

The men, of course, should be howling madly with laughter while the women shriek convincingly. This, too, should not be difficult for them to do.

Submitted by Matt Beatty on December 24, 2010 - 8:48am

When one of our boys was really small - maybe 4 - he actually drove a screwdriver through the index finder of each of his gloves - one for the left, one for the right - and used them as "pointy fings to hurt all da bad peoples..." I could envison sometime similar, though less potentially harmful for the little lad.

Or, they make gloves where the top 1/3 of the finger rolls back to facilitate... well... perhaps just the kind of thing your grandson wants to do.

Don't know if said gloves come in kids' sizes, though.

Submitted by Mrs.J on December 24, 2010 - 9:48am

Tell him that's disgusting!

Submitted by Brandon Pickett on December 25, 2010 - 5:28am

Just take off the mitten, give your nose a nice clean pick, wipe it off on your snow pants, and put the glove back on. With practice, this procedure can be done so quickly that your bare hand will hardly know it's cold out.

Merry Christmas from Pgh!

Submitted by Luke on December 25, 2010 - 6:05pm

Trigger Finger Mittens. - Go to the army surplus store. The mittens look like they have two thumbs.

http://store.colemans.com/cart/trigger-finger-mittens-us-gi-2-pair-p-2076.html

Submitted by Luke on December 25, 2010 - 6:13pm

Think about all of the research dollars that went into creating mittens for our soldiers to be able to pick their noses.

Submitted by Jim Hogue on December 26, 2010 - 5:07pm

Or you can go for these - some of the latest technology in military-approved hand protection (make sure you scroll down and read the features of both):

http://www.uscav.com/productinfo.aspx?productid=20649&tabid=1&catid=2059
Ansell Hawkeye(R) ICW Gloves

http://www.uscav.com/productinfo.aspx?productid=8549&tabid=1&catid=2059
True Trade Full Finger Shooting Gloves

-Jim

Submitted by Gandalf on December 26, 2010 - 5:18pm

Rev. Halsey reminds me of my own viewpoint on the matter. I look at it like this:

You can pick your daughter.
You can pick your nose.
You can even pick your daughter's nose.

Disclaimer: my daughter is 6 months old and not yet agile enough to handle her own nose business.

Submitted by David Baker on December 26, 2010 - 5:48pm

You can pick your friends
And you can pick your nose
But you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

Submitted by Bike Bubba on January 1, 2011 - 10:31am

My wife made our little boy a pair of orange mittens that are easy on/easy off for ready availability for nose picking. That said, at the current time, he seems to prefer boogers all over his upper lip.

Here is info on the mittens, should our gracious hosts desire to start knitting. It used to be a masculine art, after all.

http://blumenkinderheirlooms.wordpress.com/2010/08/17/mittens-for-sam/

And in the immortal words of Dave Barry; BOOGER.

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