"I yuv you, dwamma"...
(Tim) Responding to the post The invisible woman and its comments, one Titus 2 (older) woman wrote:
I recently heard from an old classmate, sombody who knew me as a teen and with whom I have had no contact for thirty five years. Having asked her to tell me about herself and her life, I received a letter telling of her early marriage that lasted seven years and ended in divorce. The marriage produced one child and so years of single parenting were combined with continuing education in pursuit of the sheepskin attesting to her qualification for the career of her choice. That career, however, turned out to be less than a "dream come true," and she shared that, having recently remarried a successful businessman who would appear to have significant material wealth, she joyfully abandoned her chosen career to work full time in her husband's office.
Her daughter is grown, upwardly mobile, and living in New York City. Her husband's children are adults. So, when her obligations in his office are fulfilled, her life revolves around travel, charity work, exercise, and entertaining. She plays the accordion, she participated in a beauty pageant last year and intends to do so again this year. (This at the age of 56!) They do triathlons together, snowmobile, and enjoy the lakes in the summer...
They are considering the purchase of a home on "the lake," but my friend is already so busy maintaining their primary residence, condos in Maine and Florida, and their motor home that she laments her inability to manage yet another property.
Sounds like a pretty full and satisfying life doesn't it? And reading about it caused me to reflect on my own life thus far.
So, who am I?
I am a sinner. I was conceived in sin, I grew in sin, I walked in sin, I practiced sin, I have wallowed in sin. But God in His abundant Grace and Mercy provided the means whereby I am no longer a slave to sin. I have been redeemed by the blood of my Savior, Jesus Christ, and He is at work in me moment by moment completing His work of sanctification. So I can say with the Apostle Paul, "I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me...."
So, what does this life look like, that Christ and I live together?
My "dream job" didn't require an advanced degree although, looking back, I would certainly have benefited from the instruction of somebody who was qualified to teach. And even more than that, my family would have benefited. It was not for many years, though, that God saw fit to provide for me a role model; but even then, my pride often led me to "do it my way."
So my "dream job" title is: "wife, mother, homemaker, prayer warrior, choir director, praise singer, child of the Most High God." I cannot say that I have had significant impact on the lives of a great number of people. However, I can say that God has blessed me immeasurably in my children who are all honest, hard working, resourceful, creative, intelligent and God fearing. I believe I am truly loved and appreciated by my family and friends, God's people who are my co-laborers.
My husband is a man of great integrity and wisdom, if not a man of significant material wealth. There are young women who come to me for advice and encouragement, and even instruction. I do my best to walk cautiously on this path the Lord has provided for me, and when I am distracted or stumble, my Lord lovingly picks me up, dusts me off, and we continue the journey together. There have been heart-wrenching trials in this life, many a result of my own foolishness. I have to live with my short-comings and failures, but my Father loves me in spite of them. In fact, he doesn't see them. You see, His perspective of me is clouded by the blood of Christ which covers my sin.
The world we live in tells me that, unless I have a job that requires leaving my home five days a week to toil in an occupation for which I receive financial remuneration, I am wasting my life. I have experienced life in the work-force. It isn't pretty. My heart is at home, and being in the work place for me can only generate dissatisfaction. I speak a different language than most of the people I have encountered there, and, forgive me, but I don't want to learn their language. I am not at all interested in mind-numbing entertainment and find it difficult to pretend interest in somebody's favorite television program. I am deeply offended by profanity, obscenity, sexual innuendo and pornography--all of which seem to be the accepted manner of communication and interaction in our culture.
I am disgusted by politicians and what I perceive to be an insatiable appetite for power and wealth at the expense of the taxpayer. I am appalled that our public education system has promoted "sexual awareness" in children, and not only condones deviant lifestyles, but is insistent on forcing the acceptance of those lifestyles on anyone who crosses their thresholds. I am saddened that young women are willing to sacrifice their children on the altar of personal convenience. I see myself as an aberration amongst my peers and I have no desire to be otherwise. So, although my initial reading of my friends' letter caused me to reflect on my life and question its significance in comparison to hers, I can honestly say that I am content with who and where I am in this time and place because it is God who is at work in me both to will and to work His good purpose.
I do not have the wherewithal to throw lavish parties, but nobody leaves my table hungry. I cannot indulge in expensive vacations in exotic places, but I have had the honor of laboring in the Haitian sun to help in constructing an orphanage, and I have sung God's praises to sweet old ladies in Romania. I have wept at the feet of the Father on behalf of heartbroken friends, and He has graciously answered my pleas. I have had the privilege of loving and encouraging saints as they have stepped from this life into His Glorious presence.
I need not compare my life to that of my old friend, for each of us has been called to a different path and my responsibility is to live in obedience to Christ in my circumstances--not hers.
I confess, I almost envied her for a moment; that is, until I remembered how, just a few short weeks ago, little Anna who is not yet two put her arms around my neck and said "I yuv you, dwamma."
I wouldn't trade places with my old friend. No way. No how.