The children of divorce...

(Jake, posted by Tim) Read how the introduction of no-fault divorce affected the author's high school graduating class.

In Seeing With New Eyes, David Powlison fights the idea that there's a causal relationship between present sins and past experiences. And he's right. All you have to do is read this article and see how differently everyone responded to their parents' divorces to find your proof. Yet I've never experienced anything so violently and permanently impacting as my parents' divorce. Because you can't make causal connections between your sins and your past does not mean that sins don't have huge consequences...

I rarely think about it (my parents' divorce) anymore, but when I do (like when reading this article) it's like ripping my chest open.

I was talking to a neighborhood boy just last week about his family and when we were done hanging out, I got in the car to go to small group with my wife and son and I cried for him the whole way there. He's 7 years old and his brother is 4. He "used to have" a sister, but she lives with his dad. They divorced when he was five--same age as when my folks divorced. And as much as I mourn my parents' divorce, I can't help but bless God for fitting me to love these kids and their parents. I can speak their language.

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Ok, there in plain view: the Newsweek author's divorce-based father hunger leading to a homosexual relationship. Am I the only one who sees this?

My wife is the victim of divorce and it hurts her every day of her life. The decisions she has to make as far as "which parent" to invite to my daughter's birthday party and other events (because she cannot have them both there) is disheartening to an unhealthy level, and her Parents have been divorced for almost 15 years. Though I must say it has strengthened her understanding of family and what it means to be a Christian wife and mother.

May I suggest another resource? "The Expected Legacy of Divorce" ~ The 25 Year Landmark Study by Judith S. Wallerstein. She does not represent a Christian view of divorce but the evidence speaks for itself in terms of the negative effects of divorce on children.

Kid of divorce myself--and I've noticed that I could only really start to form good relationships when my mom married my now-stepdad. Same thing with my brother; we needed to be taught that a man can know how to treat a woman right.

I've also noticed that in reality, the wounds haven't healed after 25 years for my mom & dad, nor have they for others I know well who have been through divorce. Seems that God knew what He was talking about when He said "they shall be one flesh." Ripping it into two doesn't change that fact, I think.

I’m so glad that you have written about this topic. I work for www.firstwivesworld.com and we have taken this entire month to talk about divorce and kids. You can find many of the articles here:

http://www.firstwivesworld.com/resource/adult-children

There is one article in particular that I would love you to take a look at because I personally wrote it about my parents divorce and how it looked from my eyes. I have to admit I have amazing parents that always put my best interest first (which I know does not always happen). There are other articles on the site from adults like me that were children when their parents divorce and they run the gamut of emotions. Here is the link:

http://www.firstwivesworld.com/resource/children/antonio/a-child-divorce...

Cheers to you for helping people go through what is without a doubt one of the toughest times in their lives. We are here trying to do the same. Keep up the good work.

All my best,

AntonioFWW

www.firstwivesworld.com

I am a 44 year old male that divorced 4 years ago and the pain and frustration is as bad today as when we first separated. My ex continually use my kids in her game of control. I now have no relationship at all with them and any time I try to, she crosses another line and says things that are so far of the wall and untrue that I just can not believe it. Everyone tells me that I just need to move on and when the kids get older, they will realize the truth and come back to me. That just seems so wrong to me. There are so many kids who have absentee parents and here I am wanting to be a part of their life and I am not able to because my ex knows this is the one thing in this world that hurts me.

My blog is www.phoenixrising-online.com/blog

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