(by Tim) A woman named Liz left this comment under our post, Be Fruitful and Evaporate, and I'd like to ask our kind readers to respond. What she says is perfectly in tune with the thinking across the church today and I'm hopeful some of you would be able to provide helpful direction to Liz, as well as the many others who, like her, are in churches where pastors, elders, and older women are equally confused on these matters. Here's what Liz wrote...
Would it not be better to have a happy marriage first before children are brought into the picture?
Have we not all learned that things and people are not what make us happy. Each individual is responsible for their own happiness. A child will not bring happiness any more than a cute puppy would.
This study, if true, is quite beautiful. Because it shows that for a couple to live in complete harmony they must be willing to shoulder the burdens and responsibilities of something that seems so insignificant - sharing chores. If a couple cannot settle on who is going to do what chores then why would anyone think that a child would bring happiness to their marriage. They are at odds from the very beginning.
Would anyone of you who have reacted negatively to the study suggest to a young, battling couple to have children to solve their marital woes? I think not. Sane people would tell them to work out their differences first.
The last time I will say it: Children will not bring happiness to a marriage. The happiness needs to be there already.
And having children is not the purpose of marriage. It may have been in ancient times but it is not now and I am very thankful for that.
So now, if she were your daughter, how would you respond to Liz?