"And viola!" you've got a Harley-Davidson...

For years I've been asking why the entire country has to live with the EPA's noise pollution standards, but the guys riding Harleys don't? Everything else on the road purrs now, while Harley's continue to burp and belch and clink and rattle. You can be trucking down the road, even next to an eighteen wheeler on an interstate, and carry on a conversation with the others in your car. But when a Harley comes along the talk stops until you pass him or he passes you. His pipes violate every noise pollution ordinance in the country, but what--he gets a pass because he's driving a Harley slapped together in the good old US of A? All the foreign brands have to toe the line. No straight pipes blasting explosions from their rear for BMWs, Hondas, Yamahas, Ducatis, or Moto Guzzis.

So no, I don't admire Harleys or the poseurs who ride them--although I might consider making an exception for Chuck and Luci Swindoll.

If you've read this far, you might as well go all the way and check out this article titled, "Why a Harley Davidson Isn't a Real American Motorcycle." But watch out--it uses Lutherian language that will be offensive to many. Here's an excerpt selected by Jeff Moore to get you started:

I think I've finally figured out just *WHY* Harley Davidson motorcycles are so popular... Harley Davidson isn't a motorcycle company, it is a cult religion. You don't ride a Harley Davidson so much as you worship it. You and every other little acolyte. A Harley Davidson is a rolling altar to mediocrity, you bend your knees and you pray to a pagan idol of chrome and leather for the pitiful life that you glean from it. That is the only way that I can see why so many people are so clueless when it comes to motorcycles. They can't stand on their own, they aren't tough enough to be individuals, so they have to reinforce their own self image with artificial constructs. Joseph Campbell would have a field day with the average Harley owner, I think that Harley Davidson is another of the 'masks of God' that Campbell once talked about so richly, or one of the supposed nine thousand names for God.

Harley Davidson. It's not a motorcycle company. It is a pagan cult religion...

PS: If the stringed instrument in my title is giving you a facial tic, note the quote marks. Then search the article and you'll find that same instrument.

Comments

Preach it, Brother Bayly!

Should we bow five times a day in the direction of Milwaukee and chant "There is no bike but Harley...?"

This post could have easily been posted to Worship and Idolatry! Thanks for the article Tim. What I read was... "invigorating".

But what do stringed instruments have to do with Harleys? :-)

I'm with you, MathMom. I kept reading to find out the part about the viola.

Some people might prefer a stringed instrument to a motorcycle, especially if the sound of the motorcycle hurts their ears. Then again, some people simply aren't man or woman enough for a real motorcycle. Let them stick to the viola. It's certainly safer...and a lot quieter.

I'm assuming that was the message of this post?

"I'm with you, MathMom. I kept reading to find out the part about the viola."

I don't think there's any connection. I think Tim's just fiddling with us.

Some of my best friends are violists...

Tim, I just think you're jealous of a REAL cycle. To muffle a Harley is to tie up a thorough bred or clip the wings of an eagle. Sorry friend, but I can't join you in this one!

Hey, the violas get enough flack as it is...every orchestral joke gets sent their way- but then again, they're usually pretty resilient people who play them. ;-)

(so how is it that the best violin instruction I had came from a violist?)

"Tim's just fiddling with us" had me laughing, that was a good one!

Jody: sorry to hear your best friends play the viola. :-) What a bummer for them!!

Then again, I play bass....maybe I should keep quiet, or a bass joke might come my way....

"Then again, I play bass....maybe I should keep quiet, or a bass joke might come my way...."

Yeah, from some largemouth like me, no doubt.

I suspect Tim's just stringing us along with the "viola" business, and we should just bow out gracefully.

"we should just bow out gracefully"

Or maybe violantly?

Must... stop... this...

Hey Curt, last time I checked Thurow Bread was a famous American author. As for Harleys being "real cycles," I guess you E-Free types stick together--you and your homeboy, Chuck. Harleys are real cycles as Dachshunds are real dogs, Yugos are real cars, WWF wrestlers are real men, the PC(USA) is a real church, and Ace Hardware is the only real hardware chain. Heh-heh-heh-heh, chuckle chuckle.

I'm waiting...

And back to witicisms from puns,

Q: Which is bigger a violin or a viola?

A: Neither. The violinist just has a bigger head.

Im pretty sure Tims quote of "viola" comes from this sentence;

"Milwaukee churns out the same tired old designs every year, a piece of this model, a piece of that model, change the tank, paint it black, add forty pounds of chrome and three grand to the price and give it a name like American Historical Limited Edition Super Extra Easy Wide Glide FGXLHR or something equally incoherent and viola!"

Tim, it did give me a facial tic. And Chantal, here's one for you-- what's the difference between a bass player and a large cheese pizza?? the pizza can feed a family of four!
If I had enough money to afford a motorcycle, I'd get one, and it'd probably be an import. Until then, I'll keep bombing through Bloomington on my trusty Kona mountain bike.

When I returned from the mission field to attend seminary I broke my piggy bank and bought a 10 yr. old Kawasaki Concours with over 100,000 miles on it. It was a split-personality bike that still purred like a kitten, but would pounce like a cheetah when you opened the throttle. My girlfriend liked it too. I eventually sold the bike, but I married the girl. Thank the Lord for Japanese bikes.

Post something else; this string of puns is killing me! You punsters belong in what Chantal used to call "the dorkestra".

Got to this one a bit late; but the real reason men ride Harleys was told to me by my Dad, who rode one with a side car with my Mom to church before it was "in vogue",because you had to know your engines to ride since it needed to be tinkered with to keep it running in top shape. Dad said it kept his mind clear working and solving the problems. He also said he would have looked dang funny on a Vespa.
Suzi

Suzi,

Your Dad wasn't a poser, he was the real deal.

Love,

Tim

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