Throw the radio in the bathtub

WOE, WOE—WHOA!

Somehow I got on the e-mail list of New York City's Union Theological Seminary. This just arrived in my queue. The lecturer is not Tim Keller's wife, although she may also be a proponent of "planetary conviviality" and there's no denying she and her husband are nuts about "thriving."

Having just reached my sixtieth birthday, I can really dig "mystical unknowing," especially when it's combined with "material indeterminacy."

And "ontological interdependence;" isn't that just another way of saying "male and female He created them?"

 


To build a fire...

Steve Moxey. Or maybe Nathan Alberson.


To all those who examine life...

Some of our best friends are philosophers...


Security levels in Europe...

Apparently this has been making the rounds of the internet for five or more years, now, but this was the first I've seen it and I found it very funny. Although it's not Cleese who wrote it, he should have.

If you find certain words of ancestral or bodily realism offensive, please skip over those words preceded with two asterisks. As **thus.

* * *

ALERTS TO THREATS IN 2013 EUROPE

(not) From JOHN CLEESE

The English are feeling the **pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A **Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "**Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from...


The global warning of Wheaton and Calvin biologists...

Here's a letter to Congress signed by a bunch of Evangelical academics who are on the global warning bandwagon and tell us the salvation of Gaia is at stake. Starting with the overpopulation mania of the seventies, I've noted Calamity Jane fads and Christian author fads have about the same half-life—ten years.

Some time ago in Madison, Wisconsin, I used to protest the genocide of over a billion infants with one of the guys who signed this letter, but now he's climbed a couple socioeconomic brackets and is protesting anthropogenic global warming. It might help to explain his new commitments that he's since moved from Madison to Wheaton where he teaches biology.

Which brings me to a couple observations. First, note how many of the signatories are from Wheaton and Calvin where profs live in mortal dread of appearing insufficiently progressive. They should get out more. 

Second, note that only five (2.6%) of these guys have the terminal degree in Atmospheric Science, Climatology, or Meteorology...


Vote now...

Heather and Doug Ummel write: "Please vote!! As we drive across the west, we are holding a contest to see which of our children could make the best pipe cleaner animal. Look at both pics. First on left is a horse, then a blue octopus, then a colorful octopus, then a standing giraffe, and finally amoeba (is our best guess ;). Prize to the child who made the animal that gets the most votes."


Ya ya brotherhood...

Just now a brother asked me to go look at some blog where I read some dudette marketing some conference for women sometime next year. The ad copy read:

Tim Keller, John Piper, and Don Carson will again join and bless us.

Yeah, for sure. Every godly woman needs to be there.

Earlier today a fellow pastor wrote to ask if we'd done a review of Tim Keller's book on marriage. Seriously?

He'd been pushed by someone to read it and...


The meaning of a chicken's life...

Can you imagine how good these eggs would taste?


Love it...

Check it out. "Just let him eat."

Can I apply?


Hold me back...

One seminar I have to miss at the PCA General Assembly this year is that you-scratch-my-back-and-I'll-scratch-yours tag team of Lig Duncan and Tim Keller. They tell us those who sign up for their GA seminar will be the lucky recipients of their inestimable prognostications concerning the next twenty-five years:

What are the deep challenges of our cultural moment? Where is the culture going? What will it look like in 25 years? Is the evangelical influence in our culture in decline? Does that matter? Should we be addressing or engaging culture at all, and if so, how?


Taylor, Aaron, and Seth take down a tree...

Taylor had an extra day off work after getting back from his honeymoon, so he decided to take down a tree in their front yard. He'd just returned our chain saw so he had to get resourceful. Aaron and Seth were visiting and they lent a hand.


Missing John DeWalt; analogies and learning to fly a helicopter...

Moving some very old e-mails out of my Inbox this evening, I came across this list of analogies forwarded by my late cousin, John DeWalt, way back in 1997. At the time John served as the admin clerk for the chief justice of the Pennsylvania Supreme Court. He often forwarded serious and humorous items on writing, one of the chief loves of his life. We miss John very much.

You can read his three-part series on learning to fly helicopters starting here and continuing here, here, and here. Don't miss the the "Input-output" one.

* * *

These are the winners of the "worst analogies ever written in a
high school essay" contest run by the Washington Post:

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like
a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one
of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country
speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar
eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
(Joseph Romm, Washington)


Anyone know how to stop these scammers?

It was Thursday night, and the kids were in bed. My wife was away working at the Encores Consignment Sale, so I was spending a quiet evening working on my computer.

My home phone rang, and when I answered I was greeted by an Indian voice. The gentleman on the phone wanted to inform me that my computer was in serious trouble. Apparently, his organization had been receiving messages from my Windows computer, and the news wasn't good: my computer was infected!! 

At first I was confused. And then I realized I was on the phone with a scammer... 


If you laugh, a sincere Evangelical may bring you up on charges...

Says son-in-law, Ben Crum, "if you laugh, you might be racist." Too true. When African-Americans can make fun of whites and whites of African-Americans, there may be hope of our melting pot actually melting and potting.


Up with some things we cannot put...

From The New Yorker:

A rising chorus of congressional Republicans are calling on President Obama to acknowledge that the pop singer Beyoncé lip-synched during his inaugural festivities on Monday and resign from office, effective immediately.

“By lip-synching the national anthem, Beyoncé has cast a dark cloud over the President’s second term,” said Sen. Rand Paul (R-Kentucky).  “The only way President Obama can remove that cloud is by resigning from office at once.”

Hilarious. Gotta love 'em.


Giggling excitement over fashion...

This is for all you homeschooling Moms out there who own thousand-dollar wheat grinders and have a household ban on Twinkies, Pop Tarts, and Wonder Bread.


One turkey gets serious about the problem...

AP headline this morning:

Turkey wants use of air defense missiles...

You watch, March 30th it will be some pig.

Gobble, gobble, gobble.


Wreaths on our heads...

Ph.D.s live such a joyless existence--stuffed shirts strictly maintaining that He has not made us, but we have made ourselves. What crushing liberty of thought, to deny God formed that one man Adam from the ground and Eve from Adam's body. What impoverished visions, young men finding old drones serving as Charles Darwin's amanuenses, Jack Collins, Tim Keller, and Peter Enns hectoring seminary students on myths' historical superiority. Poor Manhattan. Poor seminaries. Poor Wheaton.

Where is Father Christmas?

God gives joy--it is strictly His turf and His prerogative to share it. Never has He granted that splendid garden of delights to rationalists out to improve the sophistication of the human race.

So away with men who talk loudly in restaurants and use big words! It's the Holyday season and we will celebrate every last truth those impecunious drab rationalists have set out to kill. We will party around a bonfire lit in joy over...


A soccer ball fit for Africa...

Having grown up in Africa, I learned at a young age that football (alright, soccer) is best played with bare feet. Playing on grass is nice, but not required.

A ball, however, is not optional. That's why this article caught my eye. Apparently, Sting has funded the development of a soccer ball that even the rough, grassless pitches on which the game is generally played in Africa can't destroy.

Too bad for Bono. And he thought he was going to save Africa...


Wheaton's chattering class...

Everyone hear about the contest where first prize was getting one's name mentioned once in Christianity Today and second prize was getting mentioned twice? Honestly, looking at this list leaves me wondering what Wheaton's best and brightest think Christianity is? Or, if these are women, what they think a man is?

My wife just gave me a dirty look, so...

I'm just kidding. Didn't mean it. Some of my best friends are Christianity Today's "Fifty Women to Whistle At."

Errr... I think I got that wrong. My wife is giving me another dirty look and my daughters just texted me...