by Tim Bayly on September 12, 2013 - 1:29pm
Apparently this has been making the rounds of the internet for five or more years, now, but this was the first I've seen it and I found it very funny. Although it's not Cleese who wrote it, he should have.
If you find certain words of ancestral or bodily realism offensive, please skip over those words preceded with two asterisks. As **thus.
* * *
ALERTS TO THREATS IN 2013 EUROPE
(not) From JOHN CLEESE
The English are feeling the **pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A **Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "**Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
The Scots have raised their threat level from...